"I am lost. Help me brother. Save my life before my doom. I am lost
without your love. Save my soul, seek my room."
What is loneliness. True loneliness. I am an
introvert, so I understand solitude. Solitude is nice, its comfortable, we need
solitude. To be alone in our own space, immersed in own thoughts, it is one of
the best feelings. To spiral down into deeper layers of imagination and
analysis. Synthesizing possibilities about events and thinking about new ideas.
Everything is good about solitude. But loneliness is an entirely different
thing. You need solitude for yourself, to spend some time on your thoughts
without any interference.
Loneliness is when you want to communicate and
there is no one to listen or understand. There are circumstances when you want
to know how others perceive your thoughts, get a feedback, provide new
insights, generate contradictory views or maybe, simply understand the
complexities that you are trying to comprehend. Inability to find someone who
listens and respond is a kind of loneliness.
There is also a different kind of loneliness,
where nobody can understand you because nobody is trying to. Most of the times
they can’t try because the things are too complex for them. Maybe they are not
even aware that you need them to try and figure something out. Maybe you are
afraid that opening your mind might be the Pandora’s box will just drive them
away. But when you have so much thoughts and questions inside you that you
really want to share, it’s really difficult when you don’t find anyone to share
it with. You gently learn to keep all these thoughts in some dark corner of
your mind and focus on other things. But sadly, with time, things pile up and
the only way to deal with them is to ignore them. Consider them as useless and
low priority, just because there is no one in your life who have the ability,
or the will to understand it. But the fact remains that these thoughts are
important. You are just unfortunate that no couldn’t find anyone and that is
the feeling of loneliness.
You rarely meet people who have the ability to
understand these thoughts. Even when you do, it is rare to establish a level of
trust and mutual admiration to finally open up these core ideas which are so
volatile and demands intense effort. The funny thing is, they might have the
same problems that you face and you can see how similar they are to you and how
much they need to be understood. But there might not be a reciprocity in the process
because they might not understand yours. With time, you tend to lose hope of
ever being truly understood by sharing these core ideas. You build a cage for
these thoughts inside so that they don’t pester you in your solitude so that you
can be free to pursue other demanding works. This leads to loneliness.
When you are finally sure that you can never
share these thoughts with anyone, you tend to detach from people. You will
start to find peace in your solitude more often, slowing reducing your
communication with people. People see this and feel that you are becoming less
social or even anti- social. From your side, people are failing to reach you
and you don’t want to waste time with them. This will slowly grow into a
general alienation from society as a whole. You finally don’t want to interact
with anyone because they are useless. Your solitude will become your sole peace
and you will be isolated from all.
That is true loneliness.
When people you expect from, fail to reach you, you become
lonely.
“You are high above us all, alone in the sky
and you understand everything except how to land.”